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My name is Jake Aukes and I live in woodland california. I am in my local church choir, and i have been rejected in every town that american idol has been in.Everyone in the world loves me and that is how i like it.I have a computer and that is all i need. I live in a shack with my parents. My parents are nice but they are poor. I have 3 brothers and no sisters.I look like grover cleveland and I weigh 480 pounds and i look like colin powell in a speedo.I have been abducted by aliens about 5 times now.Every halloween i dress up as a sailor and act like a 2 year old. Then i go home and throw my candy into my parents face.I am single and looking for a 400 pound lady who likes to go on moonlit strolls and eat alot.I love to eat chocolate and Mc Donlads and i am on the south beach diet (so far its not working out).I ALSO LOVE BACON!Some other things i love is doing stupid little things like this--------->ô?+qTsƒ•j¦æf¼+D¶.Every day I sit around and call dating hotline and go on dating websites but no one has come to me yet.I also get arrested for some reason the cops wont tell me why but it has to do with someone calling the police because I am stuck in an elevator or I cant fit through doorways.Then when I get arrested I cant fit through there car door so I have to walk to the presinct.I have an invisible friend named Big bertha but he said "forget you i am going to talk to the kid across the street". I mean come on I am hecka lonely.Please send money to help me out now that you have heard my story!
<-----------(This is my idol!)
<-----------(This is my favorite band "less than jake"!)